We have all had negative experiences in life. It just happens. We have experienced, hurt, failure, disappointment, abuse, rejection, feeling unloved, abandoned, etc. Some of these experiences were minor, and we quickly forget about them and move on. However, some of these cut us to the core, and the hurt never seems to go away. Sometimes a person feels so deeply hurt, it just seems impossible to heal. We often bury the hurt, just so we can function and live our life. But it is still there, and at times a memory can be triggered that we haven’t thought of for years, and all the pain seems to come back. Or sometimes a person will feel some type of anxiety, without realizing that it is something from the past triggering the feeling.
Each of us sees the world through the lens of our past experience. The problem is that when we have hurts from the past that still have a charge (whether we are consciously aware of it or not), it effects the way we are seeing ourselves and the world around us. We begin accepting limiting beliefs & expectations based on something hurtful in the past. I can illustrate with my own life: when I was 8 years old I moved to a new school, and for some reason I became the kid almost everyone picked on, teased, and made fun of. I was repeatedly told how ugly and stupid I was, what a retard I was. This continued until we again moved to a new school just before I entered high school. But by that time I had come to see myself through the lens that others had told me was the truth about me. I hadn’t bought into it 100%, there was another part of me that said I was good, that I was capable, that I was likeable, that I could succeed. But my efforts to be successful were sabotaged by the negative voices from my past that kept telling me I was stupid and incapable. I became very frustrated with myself, which only added to the evidence telling me there was something wrong with me. I had allowed others to define me.
I dragged the victim story I had created to college. I had a roommate who said he had gone through similar experiences growing up. He said to me, “The difference between you and me is that when they told you that you were stupid, you believed them. When they told me I was stupid, I said, ‘I’m going to prove you wrong!'” I replied, “That’s not the difference! You are really smart and I’m not.” I didn’t understand that he was right until I was 40! I had been allowing 3rd graders to define me!
Anytime we have something from our past that brings up a negative charge in the present (hurt, anger, rage, feeling worthless, stupid, embarrassed, etc.) it is distorting the lens that we see ourselves and everything else through. We are not seeing the truth. We create self-fulfilling prophecies that give more truth to the false identity. To break out of this pattern, we must look at God’s truth about who we are. We are created in God’s image, and he isn’t stupid! We need to end this inner tug of war by remembering the truth about us, and neutralizing the negative memories from the past that still have a charge. If a memory from the past still has a kick to it, then at some level the subconscious is keeping it alive in the present, and that only sabotages you by creating more evidence to support the false identity. Here is where EFT is amazingly effective. When you find a memory that has a negative charge to it, focus on the memory and how it makes you feel in the present, while going through the EFT process (see tabs with info about EFT). As you do, it allows your system to let go of the negative charge, and the false beliefs that came from that event. You are quickly able to let go of the hurt, whatever it may be. It allows you to be more fully present, to respond to the present rather than the past. You want the way you feel now to be based on what is happening now, not what happened in the past. You wouldn’t feel cold in July remembering how cold it was in January, you only respond to the present temperature. In the same way, you don’t want to feel hurt from something in the past when something good is happening in the present. All too often we poison the present with the past and miss opportunities for joy, success, and happiness that are available now! Use the EFT process to clear the negative emotions from the past, turn this all over to Christ, so you can see the present in light and truth! Let go of the fears, limiting beliefs and expectations that have kept you from being your best. Discover who you really are as a child of God made in the image of God. You have been blessed with great gifts and potential to do wonderful things. Don’t miss out on the good available now because of darkness in your past.
Something else we all need is positive reinforcement. There are so many voices in the world around us feeding us disempowering information. We need to be constantly reminded about the truth of who we are. You have amazing potential. Each of us live far below our potential in life! So you need to plug into sources of information daily that boost your self confidence, that remind you of your connection with God, and the truth of who you really are. Find time to meditate, pray, read scripture and other inspired books. Listen to positive information in your car. Turn off the radio. Listening to the news and most music stations does nothing to elevate your thinking. Find something to listen to that expands your mind, that helps you become a better person. I have plugged into the Life Leadership information system, and that has helped tons. If we don’t make a conscious effort to surround ourselves with positive information, by default, the world around us will feed us disempowering information. You are meant to do great things!